Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize