Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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