How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize