I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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