oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
