K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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