We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
