You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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