that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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