I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
