Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
