It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
