but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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