So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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