Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
