she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
