She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
you win again, gameday.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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