He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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