Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
