Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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