question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
