I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
