omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart