I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
39 Memes Anyone Who Cries When They See Their Bank Account Will Relate To
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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