Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(408): View more from California

hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)

(650): View more from California

nah, i'm gonna grab some food

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(408): hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;) (650): nah, i'm gonna grab some food http://tfl.nu/jz1a

Replies (122) Good night (4756) Bad night (36374)
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(330): View more from Ohio

You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha

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(330): You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha http://tfl.nu/wuor

Replies (21) Good night (3883) Bad night (735)
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(773): View more from Illinois

I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.

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(773): I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader. http://tfl.nu/8khu

Replies (13) Good night (3992) Bad night (793)
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(330): View more from Ohio

The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind

(1-330): View more from Ohio

Well it worked

(330): View more from Ohio

Not the point

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(330): The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind (1-330): Well it worked (330): Not the point http://tfl.nu/mxs7

Replies (21) Good night (6241) Bad night (1143)
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(406): View more from Montana

Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.

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(406): Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified. http://tfl.nu/dihz

Replies (14) Good night (5122) Bad night (1740)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?

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(508): He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig? http://tfl.nu/6st9

Replies (2) Good night (1121) Bad night (2899)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.

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(605): If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it. http://tfl.nu/jp0c

Replies (2) Good night (2959) Bad night (853)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.

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(202): Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood. http://tfl.nu/hors

Replies (2) Good night (2056) Bad night (820)
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(214): View more from Texas

I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.

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(214): I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go. http://tfl.nu/67tg

Replies (17) Good night (3243) Bad night (787)
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(573): View more from Missouri

I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite

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(573): I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite http://tfl.nu/v7zy

Replies (6) Good night (1469) Bad night (1587)
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(720): View more from Colorado

I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again

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(720): I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again http://tfl.nu/uboi

Replies (5) Good night (1333) Bad night (1049)
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(337): View more from Louisiana

Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.

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(337): Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE. http://tfl.nu/9lhc

Replies (7) Good night (2991) Bad night (767)
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(480): View more from Arizona

If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.

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(480): If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five. http://tfl.nu/ztzm

Replies (1) Good night (623) Bad night (435)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.

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(832): Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend. http://tfl.nu/np7u

Replies (0) Good night (459) Bad night (212)
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(530): View more from California

Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off

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(530): Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off http://tfl.nu/lcz9

Replies (2) Good night (429) Bad night (268)

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