When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!