As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
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This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...