You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party