She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
