I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I want to fling myself into the sun