Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
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DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
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No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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