When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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