history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
