Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I just found a bag of teeth...
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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