I just cut my nipple shaving
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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