are you still at the devil's house?
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
