I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
