god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
What a dumb baby whore.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
