we're chasing vodka with high fives
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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