Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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