just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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