i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
She said her name was "party"
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
