I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
