I am full of burrito and curiosity
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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