i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
A bitchslap is in order.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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