my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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