Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
