I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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