Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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