dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize