So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
