yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
