margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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