is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
