Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
