I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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