She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
