i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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