Non-Jews are for practice
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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