How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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