Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
