i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
