i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
