oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
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