girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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