His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
