i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
