this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
