what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
So much rum. So many feels.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Randomize
