It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
