Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
